Pregnancy Humor Lover Gifts

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!

'No, I don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

101 Placenta Recipes

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Maternity Ward

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

The baby's really been moving round today.

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'