Pregnancy Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Does my bun look big in this?'

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"You don't look pregnant from behind."

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

101 Placenta Recipes

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Please take a number...

'Are you sure it's not out of your way?'