Pregnancy Humorist Gifts

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo

'Are you sure it's not out of your way?'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'You made me too beautiful!'

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"The most common craving in pregnancy is not to be pregnant!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

101 Placenta Recipes