Pregnancy Humor Appreciator Gifts

Pregnant vs. Old.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

101 Placenta Recipes

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Please take a number...

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo