Mom-to-be Humor Lovers Pillows

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Young Godzilla.

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

'He took his first step!'

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

"Congratulations! Now you get to eat bugs!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

Young Super Achiever

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

'He's at the 'terrible twos' stage.'

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

'I sentence you to hard labor.'

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

Shares in Headache tablets gone up since new baby was born.

'Does this mean you're grounded?'