Mom-to-be Humor Lovers Gifts

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Young Godzilla.

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

'He took his first step!'

"Congratulations! Now you get to eat bugs!"

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Young Super Achiever

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

'He's at the 'terrible twos' stage.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

Shares in Headache tablets gone up since new baby was born.

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

'Does this mean you're grounded?'