Mother-to-be Humor Gifts

"You're what?!"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

The Elephant in the Womb

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

Where Box Turtles Come From

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

"Coming down the runway, Rachel is wearing corn flakes, a nursing bra, and the same maternity leggings from yesterday."

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

Please take a number...

Big book of daft names for kids.

Everything looks so good

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'

'This is a worry. No dipstick to measure how much milk is left.'

"I'm concerned, I haven't had a period in over 8 months."