Humor About Motherhood Gifts

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The Elephant in the Womb

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Two breasts: No waiting

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Got any cravings?"

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"