Modern Motherhood Humorist Gifts

'It was only a matter of time!'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

The Mothership

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

"Yes, but Mummy and Daddy are on legal drugs."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

Mother congratulating her sister on becoming pregnant.

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Got any cravings?"

Big book of daft names for kids.