Motherhood Humor Gifts

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

Maternity ward on the farm.

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Two breasts: No waiting

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Got any cravings?"

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

I thought I'd help your IBS by introducing you to more bacteria.

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"