Mom Life Humor Gifts

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"Iron Man! Thank heaven you’ve come!"

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

Two breasts: No waiting

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

"Coming down the runway, Rachel is wearing corn flakes, a nursing bra, and the same maternity leggings from yesterday."

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

How Moms Explain

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

Shares in Headache tablets gone up since new baby was born.

"No - you put the cat out."

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

'I forgot to bring diapers. We were a long way from refreshing.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

I have this overwhelming urge to have kids

'That must be some mouse! Hang on while I get my shotgun.'

Everything looks so good

Tired mum vacuums baby