Modern Mom Humor Gifts

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"Use your inside scream."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Laptops

Baby cries into a cellphone.

Maternity tattoos

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

'Mom, I need a push.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

At the modern antenatal class.

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

"You could say that. I had a D-section."