Modern Parent Humor Gifts

'I didn't have time to get you anything, but you can download some Mother's day wishes off my web site.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Use your inside scream."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"She's a natural!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Billy strip: help with homework.

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'Mom, I need a push.'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

Moma