Modern Parent Humor Pillows

'I didn't have time to get you anything, but you can download some Mother's day wishes off my web site.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Trick or Tweet

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

Baby cries into a cellphone.

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

Moma

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'