Modern Parenting Humor Pillows

'Did you Google me before I was born to see if I was going to be a boy or a girl?'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I'm in the Maclaren, where are you?"

"This song is dedicated to our parents, and is in the form of a plea for more adequate supervision."

"Use your inside scream."

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."

We're too late - He's already watching Youtube potty training tutorials.

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Poky Little Pupa.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I need to know who started it."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.