Modern Parenting Humor Pillows

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I'm in the Maclaren, where are you?"

"This song is dedicated to our parents, and is in the form of a plea for more adequate supervision."

"Use your inside scream."

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I need to know who started it."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies