Parent Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Cut out and keep your own Teenager.

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"I need to know who started it."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Trick or Tweet

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Chilly baby.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'