Parent Humor Lover Pillows

'Can you hold on a few more minutes? They're on the 8th hole.'

"We told them it was space camp. They're Elon Musk's problem now!"

"Sorry darling, but if Dad has put his blinkers on and is reading the newspaper, it means he doesn't want to be disturbed..."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I need to know who started it."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Chilly baby.

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'