Parent Humor Lover Pillows

'Can you hold on a few more minutes? They're on the 8th hole.'

"We told them it was space camp. They're Elon Musk's problem now!"

"Sorry darling, but if Dad has put his blinkers on and is reading the newspaper, it means he doesn't want to be disturbed..."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

The Poky Little Pupa.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"I need to know who started it."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Sperm Whale.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

Chilly baby.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Mom dwarves.

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'