Parent-child Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'My son's well-being.'

'Dad, this is Wane.'

"Dad, is it okay if I call you by your first name?"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

'His dad was!'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'He didn't learn that from me!'

Mummy?!

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'What are you in for?'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"Put it on my tab."

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

'We couldn't afford school pictures this year so Timmy is doing the family portraits.'

How Moms explain.