Parent-child Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'My son's well-being.'

'Dad, this is Wane.'

"Dad, is it okay if I call you by your first name?"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Sperm Whale.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

The Family Joules: Part 5

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

Mummy?!

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

'His dad was!'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'He didn't learn that from me!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'What are you in for?'

"Put it on my tab."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."