Parent Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Cut out and keep your own Teenager.

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Poky Little Pupa.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I need to know who started it."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Trick or Tweet

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Sperm Whale.

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

Chilly baby.

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'