Expectant Mother Humor Gifts

THE REAL REASON WOMEN HAVE CAESARIANS

"I'm concerned, I haven't had a period in over 8 months."

The Elephant in the Womb

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward on the farm.

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

Where Box Turtles Come From

The baby's really been moving round today.

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

Everything looks so good