Expectant Parent Humor Gifts

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'

Where Box Turtles Come From

"Got a call from your husband, somethin' about someone's water breaking."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

The Elephant in the Womb

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

"Six down, three to go!!"

Husband and Child in Pram

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Beware of teething baby.

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

Twins

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"When do I get my phone call"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"