Expecting Parent Humor Gifts

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

The Elephant in the Womb

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"