Expecting Parent Humor Pillows

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

The Elephant in the Womb

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

Beware of teething baby.