Expectant Parent Humorist Pillows

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

'Yes, it's great to be pregnant, but a 22-months pregnancy is too long: I want to see my baby!'

Sue, Ted, The Twins.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Elephant in the Womb

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

A (P)ram.

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'She'll open her eyes in a few days. I don't know about us.'

Baby Teething Problems.

Baby Bat Mobile

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

"So! Who's the father?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'