New Mom Humor Lover Pillows

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

The Mothership

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

A (P)ram.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'She'll open her eyes in a few days. I don't know about us.'

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

Baby Teething Problems.

Baby Bat Mobile

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'