New Dad Humor Lover Pillows

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"It was a difficult delivery."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

A (P)ram.

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

Husband and Child in Pram

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

Beware of teething baby.

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'