New Dad Jokester Pillows

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

'He definitely has your eyes!'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's yours?"

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"Which one's mine?"

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!