New Dad Jokester T-Shirts

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

'He definitely has your eyes!'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"Which one's yours?"

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!