New Parent Humor Lover Pillows

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

'Let him have it!'

America's Next Top Baby

Stork delivers baby.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Mom dwarves.

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"It was a difficult delivery."

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse