New Parent Humor Lover Pillows

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

America's Next Top Baby

Stork delivers baby.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"It was a difficult delivery."

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

A (P)ram.

Husband and Child in Pram