New Parents Humor Pillows

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

'Oh,and by the way honey,don't juggle Cassie around too much--- she's just been fed.'

"When do I get my phone call"

A drone carries a baby like a stork.

'All he does is cry. Isn't there an upgrade available yet?'

"'Do not ignite flares while still in cabin.' SENSIBLE!!"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"It was a difficult delivery."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

They Removed my Brain.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Beware of teething baby.

Husband and Child in Pram

A (P)ram.

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

Baby Bat Mobile