New Parents Humor Gifts

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

'Oh,and by the way honey,don't juggle Cassie around too much--- she's just been fed.'

"When do I get my phone call"

A drone carries a baby like a stork.

'All he does is cry. Isn't there an upgrade available yet?'

"'Do not ignite flares while still in cabin.' SENSIBLE!!"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"It was a difficult delivery."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Husband and Child in Pram

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

A (P)ram.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

They Removed my Brain.

Beware of teething baby.

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'She'll open her eyes in a few days. I don't know about us.'

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