Parent-to-be Chuckler Pillows

'A young boxer'.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Open other end

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

Your CV is rather thin...

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"No. I have the baby."

The baby's really been moving round today.

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

Caution Slippery When Wet.

'It's half past November, young man! Get back into your room and hibernate!'

'Congratulations. You're the father of two tax exemptions.'

'Believe me honey - YOU don't need to do the pelvic floor!!'

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

"After trying to start a family for so long, our doctor suggested a radical approach. . . sex! On every conceivable occasion.""

"On second thoughts let's stay in tonight...now that we have another mouth to feed."

Easy birth ATM

Tapeworm befriends umbilical cord,

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

'Yes, it's great to be pregnant, but a 22-months pregnancy is too long: I want to see my baby!'

Geder Reveal Party

'Push!..Push!..Push!..Push!'

Sue, Ted, The Twins.

THE REAL REASON WOMEN HAVE CAESARIANS

"I don't wet the bed anymore. We pay someone to come in and wet it for me."