Parents With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'He's adopted.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Timmy's been wetting the bed again. Time for a visit from the Kidney fairy.

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Young Godzilla.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'He took his first step!'

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'