Humor Loving Parents Pillows

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Time for bed, guys."

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Mom dwarves.

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

Young Godzilla.

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"