Parenting Humor Lovers Pillows

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

"My imaginary friend doesn't like you to talk to me like that, Dad."

"I'm proud of you for making a gurgle."

Young Godzilla.

Young Super Achiever

'He took his first step!'

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'Mommy and daddy asked me to give you this sick note. They can't make it tonight.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

'He's at the 'terrible twos' stage.'

'How do I know it's mine?'

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

A 'Baby Store,' and a 'Things That Lodge in Baby's Throat Store.'

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

'Wait until your father gets home.'

Seen any Decent Films Recently.

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"...and if you can't use your indoor voice, I'm going to set you to 'Vibrate.'"

'Mom's weird -- she lets us play in the mud, but she won't let us watch dirty movies.'

"It's Billy's teacher. She's just calling to say how much she detests him."

"The kids are older; they're sleeping through, life's getting easier. We should probably have another baby so we still have an excuse for being a hot mess."

Father taking his children to the baths

"You have to go the rest of the way on your own."

"When the kids are done raising themselves, can we move in with them?"

"Congratulations! Now you get to eat bugs!"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!