Parenting Humor Fans Pillows

'Isn't it nice to see them using their knife and fork.'

Why is Mum so happy. Doesn't she realize the holidays are over and it's back to school today!

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'And you're sure this mobile won't affect young Damolles?'

"Dad won a prize! A policeman gave us a ticket good for $150!"

Vitamins: Childproof Cap

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"My mom's so overprotective. I'm only allowed to play Rock, Paper, Safety Scissors."

"Did you check the milk? I don't wanna get mad cow milk!"

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"Doesn't Dad know about child labor laws?"

"He started teething this morning."

"Dad, when will I be old enough to shave?"

'I name this child . . . Asbo . . .'

'I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the $%^*&^% kid who keeps us from having the time to do anything!'

'He won't touch a dummy. I think it's with me smoking when I was pregnant.'

'Considering my client's age, Your Honor, life could be a long time.'

And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!

"Time for bed, guys."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Poky Little Pupa.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'