Parents Who Love Humor Pillows

"I don't think Bo Peep was too bothered by foot and mouth...."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

"Time for bed, guys."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

A Mom's Purse

Young Godzilla.

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'