Humorous Parents Pillows

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Contrary to popular Victorian convention Albert believed that children should be heard and not seen...'

Do Not Disturb

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Are we there yet?'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Young Godzilla.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"