Parenting Humor Seekers Pillows

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I need to know who started it."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'