Family With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"Hey kids! - look what I found at the local animal shelter!"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'