Family Who Loves Humor Pillows

"What say this week you be the cat and I'll be the dog?"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"