Families With Funny Stories Pillows

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Adult Absence Notes.

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"