Families With Funny Stories Gifts

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort." "You never knew your grandpappy, Randy?" "Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world." "‘Indiana Randy’s’ life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits." "I'm just saying you're nothing like him." "I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime."

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'