Funny Family Gifts

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Your trainers really whiff.' - 'Yeah, they're awful, aren't they?!' - 'Do something about !!!' - 'Oh, I see...'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'Are we there yet?'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Two boys from legal to see you."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Adult Absence Notes.

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."