Parenting Irony Pillows

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Use your inside scream."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

The Mothership

Billy strip: help with homework.

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

Moma

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'