Parenting Satire Pillows

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Have you seen my dad?"

Trick or Tweet

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Use your inside scream."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"Where's your nose?"

"Which one's yours?"

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."