Parenting Parody Pillows

Boy: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my dad's Mortgage is BIGGER than YOUR dad's!

"I'm concerned about your eating habits, son."

'You'd like an admission? Well it's a lousy school and been in special measures for years. . .'

'Can Wally come out and interact and relate to his peers?'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Use your inside scream."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

The Mothership

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'