Fatherhood Irony Follower Pillows

'Fathers Day.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Growth Charts

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

My daddy ate my homework

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Which one is yours?"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"

"Deny it all you want. He looks just like you."

"He looks so much like his dad."

Skateboard

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

A man and baby wearing bibs

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

Mid-century Father

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'Mat leave's almost up...time for you to hunt.'