Fatherhood Fanatics Pillows

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

"So I suffered sympathetic labour pains for nothing!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Baby gets blame for father letting off a fart.

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

Benjamin Franklin

Baby Shower

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

'Fathers Day.'

The day after Father's Day.

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

Father's Day

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

Mix up on the maternity ward.

'I'm a house-husband.'

'I am too the boss of you!'

'If she goes, we go!'

"I'll tell you what: I'll clean up your room, you clean up my laptop."

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

"Daddy has to clear his head for a few minutes before he can deal with 'Babar'."

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'