Modern Fatherhood Enthusiasts Pillows

'Dad, meet CGI Dad.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"Go ask your search engine."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

Baby Shower

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

The day after Father's Day.

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

'We got rid of the baby monitor, We just sms the baby 'RUOK''

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

Fathers Saluting Each Other.

"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"

'Congratulations, you're a father. Now you'd better get out of here before her husband arrives.'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

'In my day we called it 'parenting', not 'troubleshooting your kid'.'

"Let's review cause and effect. Your divorce 10 years ago can't affect your son's zero today."

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

'I am too the boss of you!'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

Maternity. Which one is yours?